May 6, 2010

Thursday, May 6, 2010

my mother's hands

a small, soft hand grabbed her mother's hand,
and found it rough;
little eyes studied each line and crack,
touched callouses very tough.
her little voice asked, "Why are your hands
so wrinkled and dry?"
"They are always working, washing, cooking,
and cleaning," was the reply.
the little one ran off to play, not thinking
of it a moment more,
until the day her own child asked,
"Why do your hands look so sore?"

I remember studying my mother's hands as a kid and wondering how they could get so worn out and cracked. It was such an interesting moment for me the other day when my little Sarah asked me about my hands. I looked at them and found that two nails were broken, there was dirt under my nails from gardening, there were three bloody knuckles from washing my hands so much, and they were wrinkled and weathered. I looked at my hands and saw my own mother's hands. I finally understood the work that goes into making your hands look as hers did. I thought about how her hands were never idle. Always busy gardening, cooking, sewing, cleaning, playing piano, doing crossword puzzles, driving us to practices of all sorts, conducting music, painting, etc.

I truly appreciate the many things my mother has done for me.
I appreciate the hard times she endured in raising my siblings and I.
I appreciate her strong faith and firm testimony of the gospel.
I appreciate her love for my father.

My mother has been on my mind a lot lately. In my daily trials as a mother, I often remember the hardships that my mother faced. As a child, I was aware of some of her trials, but only now do I truly understand what she went through. I feel that I can finally appreciate her unconditional love and devotion to her family. And now I know she was over-worked, over-stressed, and under-appreciated.

Early on in parenthood, I wanted to teach my children how hard it is to be a parent. I wanted them to appreciate the sacrifices a parent makes for their kids. But how do you convey this to a child? We have tried to teach them to be responsible for themselves, and I feel like they help out a lot here in the home. But I don't think they can grasp what a heavy weight sits upon the shoulders of a parent. The responsibility of seeing to it that every need is met spiritually, physically, mentally, socially and emotionally for five children is enormous. The more I think about it, the more I realize that this knowledge cannot be gained by being told, by reading a book, or simply observing. It must be acquired by becoming a parent and feeling this burden for yourself!

In realizing this, I am so humbled to know that I am getting a first-rate education in parenting. I feel that, thanks to very differing personalities in test subjects, I have had such a diverse training thus far. Some days I feel that I am passing with flying colors, others I am just average, and some days I feel I am flat-out failing. And can you believe that graduation is in approximately 14 years?! (Where does the time go?) Even though there aren't many breaks, I feel that I'm hanging in there. And the nicest part of it is that on the rare occasion that I get discouraged, my little people are there to pick me up again!

I love this time of my life!
I love my mother!
I love celebrating the role of Mothers! It is a job like no other!
I love the perspective I am gaining on eternal progression.
I love that Heavenly Father has layed such a wonderful plan for us to have the experiences that will mould us into the individuals that we set out to become prior to our Earthly lives.
I love all the little cards and trinkets my kids gave me for mother's day. What a wonderful life! I feel so blessed!

(Due to many of the complications of motherhood, this post wasn't finished until 11:34 PM Tues. May 18, 2010=)